One blog to rule them all

They say you are only as good as your last blog. That being the case, I couldn't let myself be defined by the drunken Valentines Day blog. We all hit low points in our life. Hopefully the high points out shine them or at least balance them out. 2003 was a prolific time for me. I spent a lot of time driving in the car to and from work. I have this little digital recorder that I would use as a sketch pad for songs, poetry and ideas. When I got home, I usually make some noodles or hot dogs and then rush off to the coffee house to write. At that coffee house, I filled two college rule single subject note books, joined a writers club, met some great friends, and won my first poetry slam. My time spent at home was a non-stop period of learning to record and make beats, so I could listen to my own songs on my long commute.

Things inevitably changed. I grew board of the open mic scene, got lonely, met a girl, got promoted at work, got older, moved closer to work, lost a girl, fell into a rut, got another promotion at work that cracked my shell, and I feel like I've finally hatched. The thing I struggle with now is how to balance everything. I've developed some level of skill in writing and production and derive a lot of self worth from creating, but there is side of me that is prone to distraction. Movies, games, books, TV. They're easier than living, but not as fulfilling. I half crave half fear isolation, but I don't want to be a reclusive artist. Every day is still a struggle, but I don't have the bullshit of being poor lighting a fire under my ass anymore. It's a good thing, but we all tend to fight harder when we're at the bottom of the hill. The more I think about it, I still feel the same way I've always felt: almost happy, but not really. End Blog*

It's Valentines Day and I'm drunk

The title just about says it all. I bought a new bottle of Stoli today and am now three (double)white Russians in, like the dude. A friend recently pointed out that it's funny/ironic that the dude drinks white Russians because its a desert drink. I didn't realize it was a joke when I saw the movie. I just figured that James Bond had his Vodka dry martini and the dude had his white Russian. I digress. It's Valentines day, and I'm drunk in my apartment by myself.

I would like to take this moment to tell you about my latest love. It is a game called Battlefield 2142. It's an Internet based kill 'em all style game where you have two teams that try to kill each other. Sure, there is some pre-text about completing tasks, but the main part is that you shoot the bad guys. Unfortunately, the bad guys look a hell of a lot like the good guys, so I often end up losing points for what they call a "team kill." The cool/ultra-nerdy thing is that we all have headsets where we can talk to people on our team/squad to organize our actions via VOIP or Voice Over Internet Protocol. My friend Tony aka "PipeHttnMotha" has a server set up in his apartment that we all use as our chat server while we're playing. That way, we can organize and destroy the enemy Titan while the bad guys are still focussing on capturing missile silos. I just hit the rank of Master Sargent Gold, and have unlocked the more powerful sniper rifle. I know it sounds nerdy/confusing, but it's bad ass and you would love it.

I like to think of this as taking the next step in my addiction to video games/media. In the past year, I have virtually absorbed every single mediocre television drama thanks to Blockbuster online. I'm now tracking my favorite shows in real-time thanks to the Internet. Tell me Comcast, why should I buy cable when I can watch all the cool shows online for free? In 2006, I lost about 200 hours of my life to the video game Oblivion. My brother is to blame for introducing me to this gateway drug of video games. I strayed away from other such games for a while partly because I saw that it played a small but important role in destroying my last relationship. A few months ago, my brother moved to Madison. In an effort to still be part of his life, I bought BF2142. He might as well have handed me a glass pipe and a liter because I'm hooked, and there is no turning back. In the interest of saving my last shred of self respect, I must bid you end blog.