One blog to rule them all

They say you are only as good as your last blog. That being the case, I couldn't let myself be defined by the drunken Valentines Day blog. We all hit low points in our life. Hopefully the high points out shine them or at least balance them out. 2003 was a prolific time for me. I spent a lot of time driving in the car to and from work. I have this little digital recorder that I would use as a sketch pad for songs, poetry and ideas. When I got home, I usually make some noodles or hot dogs and then rush off to the coffee house to write. At that coffee house, I filled two college rule single subject note books, joined a writers club, met some great friends, and won my first poetry slam. My time spent at home was a non-stop period of learning to record and make beats, so I could listen to my own songs on my long commute.

Things inevitably changed. I grew board of the open mic scene, got lonely, met a girl, got promoted at work, got older, moved closer to work, lost a girl, fell into a rut, got another promotion at work that cracked my shell, and I feel like I've finally hatched. The thing I struggle with now is how to balance everything. I've developed some level of skill in writing and production and derive a lot of self worth from creating, but there is side of me that is prone to distraction. Movies, games, books, TV. They're easier than living, but not as fulfilling. I half crave half fear isolation, but I don't want to be a reclusive artist. Every day is still a struggle, but I don't have the bullshit of being poor lighting a fire under my ass anymore. It's a good thing, but we all tend to fight harder when we're at the bottom of the hill. The more I think about it, I still feel the same way I've always felt: almost happy, but not really. End Blog*